i dreamed last night (these stories always end well) that [the Karl Lagerfeld of Archives] assigned me to process your papers (there were 11 boxes. the inventory, quite frankly, was crap.) and they get delivered to my office and one of the boxes is a giant rowboat.
like, two times the size it should be. no seats. just giant oars, and a giant boat. it took up the whole reading room. and i was all like, [Helrond], YOU ARE KILLING ME HERE. WHAT THE FUCK A GIANT BOAT.
and you were all like, “you never know when you’re going to have to cross over”
and i was like YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, YOU ASSHOLE.
NOW GET THIS BOAT OUT OF MY READING ROOM.